While the quality of the framing might not be pitch-perfect, I this storyboard is a solid one. I will have to make a slight tweak to my script near the end as, based on the idea of "show don't tell", I felt that Simon saying "I really have to go" could be better conveyed visually such as the pasport in his hand, the suitcase by his side and an anxious expresion on his face but not so dominant that it makes him look like he cares mroe about boarding hte plane than spending some final moments with his mother. Even if the animation shows her to be controlling or protective, it would be nice closure to show that in the end he appreciates her.
even in this basic form, I found this storyboard very moving by the end! A good sign, Mark :) The only thing I'd suggest is that you're keeping your camera at a mid-distance throughout; for example, try putting us into the headspace of the marionette - so motivated shots of his POV while looking at the balloon; remember how drawing us closer via close-ups invites us to identify with the character. I think you could do more visually here to build up some engagement and invite a more subjective feel to some of the yearning/looking stuff...
ReplyDeleteSome of the shots (such as when Carette is cutting his strings) I agree could be achieved at a closer angle.
DeleteMidway I had the thought of keeping the balloon in-shot in some form or another thoughout the first scene but I realise this kept us distanced from the characters. Panel 1/15 in particular feels distant. So perhaps I could sacrifice some of the shots of the balloon (such as the liberation sequence) in order to get closer to the characters.