Thursday, 22 September 2016

Major Project: Some Script Improvements

  With a script I feel is on the right track I decided to streamline some of it so that the text flows better and the actions sound like directions. The two pages above have the most major alternations to them as I also wanted to keep in mind the possibility that I would leave out human characters for the final presentation.

  I also made some modifications to the scene where David hears the news about having his funding being cut back. I believe this scene could be better conveyed with David's voice getting increasingly hostile rather than shouting "no no no!" repeatedly like a maniac. This more muted, tone-focused approach is a feature in when the third stage of the creature hatches from the cocoon. Like in the office, I'm inclined towards moving away from "no-no-no" type reactions.


  1. I'm a bit confused, Mark - you appear to be describing your human character as if we're actually looking at him... has your idea changed? I'm hoping not...

    1. I figured that writing the actions and expressions of the character could help a voice artist sell the character's tone of voice.

    2. Other than that, I'm still going with the idea of the human characters having phantom presences. We'd hear their voices as if they were in the room.