Thursday 22 September 2016

Major Project: Some Script Improvements

  With a script I feel is on the right track I decided to streamline some of it so that the text flows better and the actions sound like directions. The two pages above have the most major alternations to them as I also wanted to keep in mind the possibility that I would leave out human characters for the final presentation.

  I also made some modifications to the scene where David hears the news about having his funding being cut back. I believe this scene could be better conveyed with David's voice getting increasingly hostile rather than shouting "no no no!" repeatedly like a maniac. This more muted, tone-focused approach is a feature in when the third stage of the creature hatches from the cocoon. Like in the office, I'm inclined towards moving away from "no-no-no" type reactions.

3 comments:

  1. I'm a bit confused, Mark - you appear to be describing your human character as if we're actually looking at him... has your idea changed? I'm hoping not...

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    Replies
    1. I figured that writing the actions and expressions of the character could help a voice artist sell the character's tone of voice.

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    2. Other than that, I'm still going with the idea of the human characters having phantom presences. We'd hear their voices as if they were in the room.

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